Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Superhero suit to change face of swimming

1 April 2010.
For immediate release

blueseventy has received a supreme court ruling today declaring that the swimming governing body's rules regarding suits has no legal grounds, and that all the potentially controversial suits may now be worn by swimmers competing on the world stage.

The ruling coincides with the new release of three new cutting edge designs from the New Zealand based swimming brand.

The DC, “Design Confidential”, range of swimskins have been announced with claims of incredible super powers, much like the suits names: The Hulk, The Super Suit, and the Spidery Suit.

The Hulk Suit, is designed to offer chemical assistance to the swimmer, through the power of anger. The suit uses nano technology to improve performance, triggered by hormones in the body produced when the person becomes angry, drastically increasing the power of the swimmer.

The Super Suit is developed with a small cape on the back, which acts as a wing like structure creating
lift in the water and allowing the swimmer to "fly”.

The Spider Suit uses a weave of web like tendrils around the body, vastly improving the explosive power of an athlete, enabling the swimmer to leap effortlessly off the blocks almost 10m into the pool.

blueseventy's director of genetic research, April Hoodwink, commented, “Already estimations indicate that the new law, and resulting suits, would see the old 2009 world records become obsolete within days.”

For more details, mail

No comments: